Thriving: A Mark Twain Primer
February, 2006

by Richard M. Lerner

"TOM!"

No answer.

"TOM!"

No answer.

"What's gone with that boy, I wonder? You TOM!"

No answer.

- Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876)

I think we can all empathize with Aunt Polly. How many times have those of us with adolescent children called to them repeatedly and with growing volume and still received no answer? More than a quarter-century before adolescence even became a field of scientific study (which it did in 1904), Mark Twain captured what for many parents was a universal view of teenagers: They were troublesome and troubled. And if Aunt Polly had a problem dealing with young Tom then, well, when it came to his friend Huck Finn, there was just no hope!

Yet, what makes both Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn books of enduring interest is that Mark Twain surprised us as we turned the pages of these two novels and followed these two young adolescents on their adventures. Yes, both boys were more than a handful to deal with. Aunt Polly was always, it seemed, at wit's end having to find and contend with all the mischief of her nephew. However, by the end of both Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn we discover that Tom's and Huck's problem behaviors were only a part - and a very small part - of who they were. Both Tom and Huck were boys who showed great courage. At great risk to their own lives and even in the face of social disapproval they stood up against crime and racial discrimination. They showed amazing levels of character and loyalty - to friends and to family. They also showed impressive levels of ingenuity and problem solving ability. They showed as well the ability to love and the "stick-to-it-iveness" to keep their promises and commitments, even against great odds.

By the ends of the novels we can appreciate why Twain was such a captivating story teller. He "roped us in" by making us believe that he was going to recount the adventures of two problem-filled adolescents. Instead, what he did was explain to us that despite the presence of problems, or stereotypes that we might have about the nature of young people, these youth had extraordinary strengths. Overall, they were young people to admire and value.

Twain's novels about Tom and Huck may be regarded as a metaphor for all American youth and perhaps all Americans. More than a century ago, his books conveyed the message that we should go beyond a focus on what may be an annoying characteristic or a shortcoming of our children and even of ourselves. Look at the bigger picture, he explained. Keep our eyes wide open and allow the breadth of a person to be understood and appreciated. America and its youth had problems in the post-Civil War years in which Twain wrote these novels. Yet, the individuals in this nation, and the nation itself, had strengths and, in point of fact, these strengths, he believed, outweighed the problems.

"Have faith in yourself and your children, focus on strengths as well as weakness, and know that the big picture provides you with hope for the future" is a message we can derive from Twain's books. There is more to a young person than just those irksome aspects of their behavior that, today, may cause you worry. If Tom and Huck could turn out so well, so can all of our young people. So too can our nation.

Twain gave us this message more than 125 years ago. Today, there are exciting results coming in from new research about America's youth, for instance from the 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development, which my students, colleagues, and I are conducting within the Institute for Applied Research on Youth Development at Tufts University. The wisdom of Twain's hopeful message about the strengths present in all youth is being reinforced by our findings. Unfortunately, in the years that have passed between Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn and the emergence of new evidence about the strengths of all young people, many of us - parents and scientists included - have lost sight of the lessons we learned about young people from Tom and Huck.

All too often, parents have acted as if the only important aspects of their children's behaviors were those that caused problems. Scientists have regarded young people all too often as having a lack, a deficit, in their abilities to behave correctly and in a healthy manner. Their research sought, then, to find out how to prevent young people from becoming all the bad things they could become! And therapists too used this deficit approach to young people. If their problems cannot be prevented, then let's find ways to reduce the presence of the shortcomings. Eyes were focused on the problems. They did not look to see if, in succeeding chapters, there were unnoticed strengths and admirable qualities that should be built up!

We do not need to see our young people as essentially repositories of problems. It would have been incorrect for Aunt Polly to see as her only option to treat Tom with what today would be called "tough love," although of course she certainly considered this option throughout the novel. It would be just as wrong-headed today to see tough love - the strict imposition of punishment to quell in our children what we regard as their inevitable rambunctious, disobedient, and troubling behavior - as the preferred option for dealing with our children. In fact, such an approach is completely wrong-headed now that we have so much research evidence to indicate that all youth - no matter what their backgrounds or characteristics - have the potential to develop in more positive and healthy directions.

What my research findings, and the results of research of colleagues in other laboratories, indicate is that, even if our children on a given day remind us all too much of Tom and Huck, we can be certain that our young people may, nevertheless, thrive: They may develop positive characteristics across their adolescent years. If we align the resources that exist in our homes, schools, and communities - resources that Peter Benson of Search Institute terms "developmental assets" - with the strengths that exist in all young people (for instance, the presence in all youth of a capacity for change and growth is an important strength that they possess), they will, when the story ends (when they leave adolescence and enter their young adult years), have the great likelihood of living successful and good lives. They will lead lives marked by happiness and by positive contributions to themselves, to their families, to their communities, and ultimately to our nation and society.

However, the journey across adolescence with your youngsters is not just smooth sailing. Tom gave Aunt Polly fits! So too do all children at times. No adolescent is totally free of problems. Of course, no child, and - if we look honestly in the mirror - no adult is free of problems either. But remember. Keep your eyes open. Look for the bigger picture - the full story - about your child. Don't draw a conclusion about how the story will end by just reading the first chapter. Keeping this rule in mind may be very helpful to parents as they act to help their youngsters develop positively - help them thrive - across the adolescent years.

Helping Teens Thrive - The Big Three Approach

Research in my laboratory indicates that parents can help their youngsters thrive. Even in today's hectic world of working parents, pervasive media, and political insecurities, families remain the most important resources for the development of an adolescent's thriving.

Both our research and the research of colleagues in other laboratories across the nation suggest parents' efforts to promote thriving can be boiled down to what I term "The Big Three." These three actions, when taken together by parents, foster thriving in their child.

The first of these "Big Three" steps is maintaining positive and enduring relations with your children. "Quality time" is important. But, high quantities of quality time, quantities that can be consistently relied on by a young person, are most important. Try to have meals together. Find common interests. Participate in your child's school and volunteer in their after-school programs. Plan and take vacations, or even just weekend "sprees," together.

Second, build skills in your youngster. Don't urge your child to "just say no." Instead give him or her skills -- effective behaviors - to select positive goals, to find the means to reach his or her goals, and to compensate when they fail or when their goals are blocked.

Third, and arguably more difficult, allow your adolescent to use his or her skills. Allow him or her to take a leadership role in his or her own life, to not only participate in family and life decisions but, as well, to take a primary role in selecting his or her own course in life. For instance, help your youngster develop the skills to weigh the pros and cons of each of his or her options when faced with a dilemma. Learning to perform a cost-benefit analysis is one of the most important tools our teens need. If children are given the opportunity to make their choices in the context of a close, loving family, they will know they have (and will rely on) the guidance and support of the parents who have nurtured them through the decision-making process.

From thriving in adolescence to a contributing adult

Parents can tip the odds in favor of thriving in their youngsters by building a family that embraces the "Big Three." By giving our children the opportunity to learn and use skills to make good choices, to find the means to make their goals a reality, and to adjust to the inevitable failures and frustrations of life, parents - in the context of enduring, supportive, and loving relations with their child - can launch a young person on the pathway to a life marked by thriving.

A competent, confident, and caring adolescent, who is positively connected to other people, and who interacts with them with character and integrity, will become an adult who is morally, spiritually, and civically engaged with his or her world. Our adolescents will become adults who contribute to themselves, to their families, to their communities, and ultimately to social justice and civil society. As did Tom and Huck, at the end of the story your children will make you proud!

Richard M. Lerner is the Bergstrom Chair in Applied Developmental Science, and the Director of the Institute of Applied Developmental Science, in the Eliot-Pearson Department of Child Development, Tufts University

© Richard M. Lerner. All rights reserved.